A rainy cold night, on a December start. Listening to Adele's Make You Feel My Love.
It is nights like these that I feel truly alone. A pure solitude, a road that I am walking alone.
It is nights like these that the unfinished businesses come out to play in my mind.Nights like these are depressing, painful, slow and bad.
Yet nights like these make me cherish the happy days, where I have sunshine and smiles.Nights like these gives me the strength and motivation to face tomorrowAnd live it to 110%.

Recently, I feel that I have been rushing this year to end. I realised this after spending some time in Sydney, away from it all here.There is still 20 days left to December but already I have had enough of this year.20 days... 20 days... 20 days.
What can I achieve in 20 days?There are still parts of me that feels unsatisfied, unfulfilled and it is unacceptable.This artikelen is mostly for myself.
I hope God give me something in this one last 20 days.Firstly there is the New Years Resolution that I have yet to establish.

I personally feel that 2010 will be THE year that I settle some old issues.I will turn 24 years old next year. A year which makes me a 'real' adult, whether I like it or not.This adult-to-be is actually 4 months away since my birthday falls on March.Perhaps this year was a preliminary test/ test fun for adulthood.I learnt that I am indeed maturing, getting stronger mentally and defining myself.This year, I have lived without much consequences, lived hastily But it was a year where I felt content for the first time ina long time.
Next year, I must live.

Live and not just drone through day by day.I really hope that I can make new friends. Different people. Different friends.I hope that I can get accepted in Qantas's Flight Attendant Programme.I know that this may mean drifting away from solid gound, literally and figuratively,
But this year had taught me that it will be good for me to drift away a little bit.
I seemed to thrive on it, exposing me to new territories that make me uncomfortable enpowers me.I must admit that they can be unbearable and uncomfortable, but that is when i get to practice my adaptation.

Thus, plans for this 20 days is to gather my thoughts to strategise for next year.Find my targets and goals, make my bow, sharpen my arrow and start practice shooting.
Perhaps Santa will surprise me this Xmas.

The Buys and Byes of Y2009

December the 3rd, 2009. Who would have seen this day coming? Oh what a glorious 'daiye' it was. The morning was lazy, Yum Cha brunch at the wonderful Chinatown (but of course), caught a new movie Twilight: New Moon, people watching at Bondi (oh! hello) and yes, I was and still am in Sydney. The highlight of today was rubbing shoulders and taking photos with a man I sleep with everyday (oh the scandal!!).

No, I am serious, I have been sleeping with Peter every night, literally. Peter Alexander that is, the Aussie designer guru whose sleepwear range I adore and sleep in! If you thought that the 'sleeping with' was in a twisted Gossip Girl scandal drama way, you are so wrong (you dirty-minded douche). Peter was in his Bondi store doing his charity run for RSPCA when I was in store. I quickly recognised him and went up to him to tell him how much I love his Lygon Street store in Melbourne, which is a stone's throw away from my house. Then a photo session commenced, with me leaving the store a happy customer.

Well, since it is a glorious night, and I am feeling particularly inspired to 'type', as my mate has so graciously lent me his 15 inch MacBook Pro (so awesome, can't wait to get my claws on one), I decided to gather my thoughts of this year and put them in words. You can see it as a celebration of many many wonderful achievements this year, you can see it as a young man's journey in his life, or you can see it as an artikelen where I boast about myself (again...), whichever one you see fit, you are... correct.

So this year started rather insignificantly. Already I have a job, so the future does not seem uncertain and exciting and unpredictable. Already I am independent from my wealthy parents, thus every payday and every purchase is a victory. Already I have money, so my wardrobe is still going through puberty and rapidly expanding. Already I am becoming more beautiful, with my strict gym schedules, dermatologist appointments, good rapport with my hair stylist and the zone diet. So, at the start of the year, I wondered,what is there then? Being a humble good citizen of Earth, I also started being eco-chic and immerse myself in yoga and meditation to better the universe. Then it occurred to me.... I need to be better, like in every way that I can.

I decide to find myself. Find that someone who was lost in all the craziness (or lack of) or the past 8 years of my life. The mediocrity, the vain, the laziness, the hopelessness, the helplessness and lack of focus of the past 8 years. These I have to say goodbyes to. The people that drags me down, I have to sail away from them to. Sail sail sail as far away as I can (good riddance... thank you Lord Jesus Christ for supplying the speedboat). The people that pulls me up, I have to connect and reconnect with them, in multiple levels and not just one. Some goodbyes may be good but some are regrettable. I must admit that I am still currently working on this, as it is not easy when other people are involved (so much drama). Yet, I have established more really good new friendships, with people whom actually care and will go that extra mile to help me when I need them.

As for the 'buys', they are inanimate and inhuman, thus, being a professional shopaholic, I have learnt that I NEVER have to pay full price. And i score 10 out of 10 in this segment! Being tech and market savvy has gained me many procurements and investments, usually obtained when their prices are at their lowest (thus their value can only rise after). I have bought my first PSP (after I sold my old DS right before the new model comes out and the old model's value plummet), bought my first Digicam, bought my first sewing machine (worth $900 but i got it form $400), bought my first furnitures, bought my first Automatic Horlogerie (retails at $3500), expanded my Gucci collection to an impressive amount, obtained many bits and bobs that I had so desired in the past, gone on multiple holidays to new cities and countries, got my first Business class ticket back home, sold my old iPod (right before the new one comes out), going to get my first Mac laptop, put together a fabulous closet where most clothes I have not even wore/debut as yet and many many more which I shall not mention as they may start boring you.

The main point is, all these I have obtained with on my own. I am not expecting a Nobel price or an Oscar for it, but as far as 2009 is concerned, I am feel like a winner. Surely there are many more things I desire, a Porsche, my own house, a better career, more free time, more good mates, more more more, but for now, I am a very very content 23 year old (although I look more like an 18 year old now).

Thinking back, there was this dude whom used to be my friend. We had not spoken in years and just the other day, dude msn-ed me. We exchanged courtesy and chatted for a bit. The sad thing is that dude assumed that I was the same person that I was in the past. I felt insulted at first, then felt sorry for him as I realised that I should not blame him for assuming that, as he IS still the same old person as he was years ago. Lame. Then again, I have dude to thank for as it was all part of my growth. Everything that had happened in the past (good or bad) had contributed to the me today. I always get the last laugh.

Soooooooo.... what's new for next year? If I sound like I am on top of the world already in the above, then 2010 will be dull.

Nope, that is a bad mentality to have. Next year will be more exciting. More achievements. More procurements. There is still so many things I desire. So many growths in my character that I like to see. So many new faces I want to meet. Perhaps a relationship with someone might be nice (I am still Single N UNavailable at the moment though). More experiences, new countries to go to, get closer to my families, more people to save, more 'eco' to be chic about, more scandals, more drama, more of the good and the bad (and learning life lessons from the bad of course).

2010, minimalist is out, more is the new more.

Courvoisier or the Patrón?‏

With October drawing to an end and the prospect of November and December flying pass in a flash (like they always do), it dawned on me that the time to bid sayonara to 2009 has arrived. It has been a short year indeed, unlike its 2007 and 2008 cousins. However, 2009 has been sweet.

I travelled to more places in this year than I expected to. I definitely spent more money than I wished I had. I have learnt alot, studied alot, played alot. I have ticked off so many things that was in my 2009 New Years Resolution List. I have made many friends and also come to know me as a person better. However, there were ups and downs, speed bumps and wet blankets along the way too. Yet, I had found strength to focus on the positivities in my life and ignore (literally) the negativities.

I think I have outdone me this year. Some may crack open a French Champagne but for me, I can't decide between the Courvoisier or the Patrón. My Gucci collection grew and grew, the way I love it to. I am enjoying my work and getting much benefits from it. I love my family. I am glowing and looking more and more beautiful and younger with each passing day.

I am living for the moment. Yay!

The Tale of an Onion

Once upon a time, there lived a onion.

As time goes by, layers and layer of the onion peeled off.

In the end, the onion was no more.

Death Becomes Me

"I wonder when had I died. Is it years and years ago when that unfortunately incident happened? OR isit years ago when that happened. OR isit just days ago?

It does not matter now as to when had I died. All that mattered is that I am now dead....

Yet death never cease to haunt me. My healed wounds was deliberately reopened, ravaged by those who mock me while my wails and cries were completely drowned. Constantly raped by these demonic waves. Struggling to gaina foot hold but always slipping and falling back to square one.Why? Have I not suffered enough? Have I not been humiliated and insulted enough?

I know for sure that I have had enough. Thus, I took death in with a welcoming embrace. I let it wash over me like a holy waterfall. I took death face on, staring at its cold hard eyes, unrelentlessly. I know for sure as well that I will never be the same, with each and every death, I grow stronger.

I become more immune and more resilient. It was at the lowest point of my 'death' that I know that things will take a positive turn. One day, I shall overcome death itself. I shall be a changed being. I may not be me anymore, but after so many deaths, I am but pure."

AS many times as one listens to Mary J. Blige's (that girl can sing!) No More Drama, the song seemed to touch different emotional levels at different times. In some way, the dead and depressed will sing along side MJB, promising themselves and swearing to some unknown entity that they WILL have 'no more drama' for their life. That they will take the lesson, albeit painful, into their stride and learn from it. Other times, the cheerful will sing along MJB in celebration of their strengthened life. That they have never felt so thankful as they are now 'free from all their pain'.

Like them, I have sang along MJB many times. Most of the time, I struggle to hit the notes she does, but that is not the main point. Every lyrics struck a note in my heart. When MJB went 'I don't know, only God knows where my story ends, but me I know where my story began' I can't help but scream a little hallelujah in my heart. It was then I realised that the song is not for one who broods about the past, but for one who is ready to face the future and move on.

Moving on is not an easy thing. Wounds take time to heal. And more easily, the reopen as old memories haunt us. Why can't we drop these wounds like we do in the toilet... and move on?? Must we build an inpenetratable wall that will not allow hurt and pain and suffering to touch us? Must we turn our heart into solid ice? If that is the case, is it better to live and love and hurt, or isit better to be a zombie no longer capable of trust and love?

For now, I am with MJB, for there will be No More Drama in my life...

Watcha Lookin' At!!‏

Pale white skin (BB creme and company), blood red lips (Dior rouge palette). Volumnous brunette (L'oreal systeme professional), sunken in cheekbones (fat loss and muscle gain thanks to gym) and thick eyebrows (Adele eye brow growth gel). All these seemed to complement my hazel eyes. That is why in my previous artikelen, I had mention my procurement of Dior rouge palette and my plans to take out my wisdom tooth this coming March in order to give me a more pronounced cheekbone. Some say I have just ripped off the image of Twilight vampires. Others say that I am simply a superficial person but I couldn't care less.

They say that when a boy finally learn to turn a blind eye to all the toys and temptations around him and focus on getting an investment haute horlogerie, he had finally become a man. The 'they' I had just referred to is actually me when I was inebriated. I have finally become a man indeed. Never have the prospect of an investment timepiece been much of an interest to me. Even though it is a very European thing to be (i.e. t-shirts, shorts and slippers but impressive wristwatch), I have never taken much notice on the history, culture and manufacture of a watch, whether it is Swiss or Japanese made. But now, I do.

I always knew that my dad had a multi-diamond Rolex that he got when he was in Geneva in the 1980s. My dad had a factory then that worked closely with manufacturers in Europe. The memory of me running around the machineries int he factories during a non-working Sunday still remains as clear and sweet as then. I have seen this watch a couple of times too when my dad decided to take it out of his safe and use it for an event. It is gold and bling. My mom had one too that is made of gold and rubies and diamonds acluster! These facts alone did not intrigue me as during that time, G-Shock and Baby-G was the epitome of wrtistwatch glam. Then, as years went on, I became more interested in other means of accessorissing oneself.

However, in the past few months, I was introduced to a world of quartz and self-winding metal pieces by my dear friend Alv. He had catalogues of Maurice Lacroix and Bvlgari in his bedroom too, for he is planning to get one this coming March. I knew at first that it is a heftly investment as these timepieces starts at $2,000. For young and hip working professionals like us, such investment seemed almost unwise. On the other hand, the more I think about it, the more feasable and necessary it is. My uncle has a gold Longines that I always thought to be very chic. There is also something very mature and sophisticated own one and wear it almost 24-7. Then, I thought that it is time for me to get an investment time piece for myself, one that hopefully I can pass on to my future son.

The search begins. After much research, I gave myself a budget of $4000. I was first met with two options, quartz battery or automatic. Automatic for me of course. I like the way they show case the skeleton of the watch in sapphire crystal casing. It looks so cool. I also like the idea that the watch DO NOT share the same organs as a Fossil or Swatch, but is meticulously made by some old Swiss watchmaker, with gears, nuts and bolts. Being not battery operated, the watch was given life by my daily movements. Lastly, it is a universal truth that automatique is a true investment time piece, on a whole new league to quartz battery one. I insist on an automatic, even though quartz battery one is alot cheaper and almost as useful/accurate as automatic watches.

Being an expensive boy with an expensive taste, I insist that I MUST have diamonds on my watch. Although my meagre $4000 will never ever fetch a Cartier, Chopard or a Philipe Patek, I am sure there are more than a dozen Swiss mades that has thrown in a couple of 0.05 carat diamonds onto a couple of models. Next question is the strap, do I want metal strap, or leather strap, or porcelain? Do I was gold tone, or silver tone, or rose gold metal? Do I want black leather, white leather or brown, or blue? What kind of leather do I want, croc skin would be ideal but i know they are costly. What colour porcelain do I want then keeping in mind not many models carry porcelain case. I have decided on either gold or silver tone metal as it is the most hardy (sweating on leather is not nice).

My favourite Gucci actually has a model with 50 diamonds for a low price of $3500 only (on sale, original price $6500)! I was so thrilled as I thought I have met 'the one'. Set on stainless steel with silver as the face and chronograph too, this 50 diamonded beauty made my mind float through clouds of images with me werking it. Massive sale price too as I made friend with the Japanese shop assistant at Duty Free. However, I was pulled back to Earth when I relaised that the watch is NOT automatique but quartz battery operated. I was shattered! I am Romeo who was so devastated that my Juliet had died! Urghh the pain...

The pain intensifies when I learnt that Gucci has an automatique chronograph watch BUT one without diamonds! Dayum!! If I am Frida Gianinni, I would design one that is automatique, chronograph AND diamond! There is still hope however, as I am thinking of getting the wacth only May 2010. The new collection will be out then, so hopefully they would release that. The price will hopefully not be be that causes me misery too. I am also looking out for Maurice Lacroix and Longines model that fits my criteria. Thus, the search continues and I am keeping my eyes on watch(es).

Back to Black

*Trumpets*

*Drumrolls*

*Cymbals clash*

I'm back. As I wave to the crowd with my faithful assistant Alice...

Alice, as many of you have known, is a Gynoid, model number GCX-003. As a vampire, having a mortal battle partner is not ideal as mortal bodies break down with time. A robot, on the other hand, is upgradable as time passes. A robot popses no temptation to me as well, although the more time I spend with Alice, the more I find 'her' appealing to my senses. Thanks Alice for pre-posting the 2 artikelens. I hope you enjoy them.

So... ok... granted that due to the world economic recession, everyone has been tight in their pockets. The aftermath of the recession will surely continue change everyone's perception of money and now, people are begining to save up for rainy days. I, myself, have seen a 50% drop in my business alone and now, the store has quiet days that you can hear/ hallucinate noises. That is a $400 loss for me every month at least =(!~! However, I dun understand why my ass have to suffer. Every morning, i do my, ahem, 'business' at the Emirates Building because it is close to my store and their building and toilet is so luxe and posh (thanks to the Sultan of Dubai). I refuse to use the toilets at the cafe nearer to my store or the backpackers that is like 10 steps away. This is because they are uncouth and their toilet can get dirty and the most important reason is that their toilet paper is comparable to sandpaper.

So getting back to the point, I realised with my sense of touch that the Emirates Bulding toilet changed their toilet paper as of last week!!! No longer is the soft and pillowed plush toilet roll used!! In order to cut back operating cost due to the recession, they decided to downgrade to a cheaper, not as plush toilet roll!!!!! URGHHH, me no no happy. Me ass no no happy. Well the new toilet paper is not sandpaper (fortunately), but, it is surely not the featherlite angelic quality it was in the past.

August is ordained to be a month where I cannot spend money. I am way behind my savings plan and August will be able to rectify that. I am panned out what I am going to procure after that all to the to March 2010 for my birthday. Things would have been must easier if a bag of $30,000 drop on me one day, but that will be no fun at all. Instead, hard work and its resulting rewards suits my personality more.

Classes start as of 23rd August, which is in a few weeks time and I cannot wait! I hope that I will learn much, like I did in the previous subject, as I had to fork out $320 for the class alone. I also have to pay $400 for my flights to Auckland. For September, I am deciding on either a parfum or a sunglasses from Gucci, depending on how much I have to spare. For October, I shall not do any major procurement as the New Zealand North Island trip will certainly burn a small hole in my Italian wallet. I am getting a digital cameral too, Canon IXUS100. I have not decided on the colour yet but the Black one caught my eyes.

November will be ordained to be a month where I cannot spend money too. This is because December will be a big month for me. I am going to Sydney to visit my dear friend for a couple of days. This ensures lots of shopping although my friend was graciously kind enough to accommodate me in his place. I am thinking of getting either a Gucci belt (white colour Guccissima) or a Gucci loafer in Sydney. I will be getting the SKII Facial Treatment Essence too. Although they cost more than gold in terms of per weight, I am sure it will be well worth it in terms of skinvestment. I am getting the Dior Homme balm too as my current one from is destined to run out by then. I am still contemplating in getting the Dior rouge palatte. I shall explain this the next time around.

January and February 2010 will no doubt be as eventful, if not, more than 2009. Indeed I am getting myself a Macbook for my 24th birthday!! It's time to burn my current computer which is turning 8 next year. Then the month of March 2010, I will be in Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Jakarta! I am flying Business Class too, coutesy of Malaysian Airlines!!! Getting a tattoo in the city of KL too. I have contacted the tattoo artist from a reputable place where tourists and expats frequent! I am getting my wisdom tooth extracted too. I shall explain the critcality of this act the next time around too.

Seems like this artikelen is short and rushed. I shall make it up in details the next one.

Glad to be back... to black.

Excerpt: Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love when she met Anne Rice

I wish Daymian would kiss me.

Oh, but there are so many reasons why this would be a terrible idea. To begin with, Daymian is many years younger than I am, and, like most young vampire, they are non-commitant and have weak blood. These facts alone make him an unlikely romantic partner for me, given that I am a five century old vampire, who has just come through a loss of every mortal friends and families around me and a devastating, interminable death of the love of my life (who,a vampire like myself in this case), followed immediately by a passionate love affair that ended in sickening heartbreak. This loss upon loss has left me feeling sad and brittle and about three hundred years old. Purely as a matter of principle I wouldn't inflict my sorry, busted-up old self on the lovely, unsullied Daymian. Not to mention that I have finally arrived at that age where a man starts to question whether the wisest way to get over the loss of one beautiful brown-eyed young man is indeed to promptly invite another one into his bed. This is why I have been alone for many years now. This is why, in fact, I have decided to spend this entire year in celibacy.

To which the savvy observer might inquire: 'Then why did you come?'

To which I can only reply—especially when looking across the table at handsome Daymian— 'Excellent question.'

Daymien is of my kind, and the vampiric clan is diminishing rapidly. That sounds like an innuendo, but unfortunately it's not. All it really means is that we meet a few evenings a week here to practice each other's powers and abilities. I teach him the way of our kind, in multitude of languages, and I am patient with him; then we speak in English, and learnt the ways of man. I discovered Daymian a few weeks after I'd arrived, thanks to my highetened sense of smell, across the street from that fountain with the sculpture of that sexy merman blowing into his conch shell. He (Daymian, that is—not the merman) had just fed from a drunk and was obviously not powerful enough to conceal his scent from me; for he lacks practice. Right beside his appeal was his facial features, with the same depth, word-for-word almost identical in every way, right down to the lip, to the no deceased love of my life. The only difference was the hair style.

Using my keen intuitive powers, I telepathed him, asking in inquisitively, "Are you perhaps of the Blood?"

It was Daymian who replied this very provocative message: "Even better."

Yes—much better. Tall, dark and handsome identical twenty-five-year-old young vampire, as it turned out, with those giant brown liquid-center eyes that just unstitch me. After we exchange words, I began to wonder if perhaps I should adjust my rule somewhat about remaining celibate this year. For instance, perhaps I could remain totally celibate except for keeping a handsome twenty-five-year-old as lover. Who was also slightly reminiscent of a friend of mine whom I had once love, and still do till today, but nonetheless ... I was already composing my letter to Penthouse:

In the flickering, candlelit shadows of the Roman café, it was impossible to tell whose hands were caress—

But, no.

No and no.

I chopped the fantasy off in mid-word. This was not my moment to be seeking romance and (as day follows night) to further complicate my already knotty life. This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.

Notes On A Clothing Rack

Ralph Lauren once famously said 'I don't design clothes. I design dreams.'

How true.

In a cosmopolitan world that we live in, amongst the cold concrete lawns, towers of vertical glass and masses of metallic wheels, dreams can be reduced to be no more than a myth. No longer are dreams hiding in between cracks of rock formations. No longer are dreams perched upon a tall tree, where they find themselves singing with the tweetering of the birds. No longer are dreams floating naturally as the ocean breeze caress them gently. No longer can dreams be found externally.

Our only consolation comes from the inside... of our wardrobe.

My philosophy of 'Make wardrobe, not war.' stands very firmly as one of my core values in llife.
We only have two legs, why not put something that everyone loves on it?
Some people might think that I am housing a materialistic monster inside of me, but who are they to judge when the world is superficial in its make?
This philosophy comes from a good place inside me. A cumulation of personal experience and acquired taste that I am very willing to share, to make the lives of others better and this world... a better place ultimately.

The male silhouette has changed over the years. It is a natural occurrance, since the female form has changed from the curvy (i.e. Marilyn Monroe), to the waif (i.e. Twiggy), to the Amazonian (i.e. Linda, Cindy, Naomi, Claudia & Christy), to the baby doll on sticks (i.e. Gemma, Sasha, Lily & Natasha) today.

Back in the 90s, the all-American look seemed to define what a male model is with New York emerging as a major force in Fashion and Calvin Klein is call of existance for male models. Today, a slim lined male figure is the ideal. Toned and tasteful marked a maturity in Men's Fashion. It simply appeals to everyone. It is also very high fashion, androgenous, modern and sophisticated. Of a European standard, these male models can go from all-American (with oil) to couture (with make up).

How then can be encapsulate this dream??? We start small. A step at a time.